rulebook2

The Man Rulebook, No. 47: Open the door for her

From an ancient tome passed down for generations, these rules for men to live by are ageless. Here is an excerpt:

Rule 47: Open the door for her, and know when to open it for others – Of course your date/girlfriend/wife is every bit as strong and capable as you; truly enlightened gentlemen know that from an early age. That does not, however, give today’s men the excuse to let common etiquette die. When out with your date, and you are approaching an establishment’s entrance, open the door for her and allow her to enter first. The act simply shows your respect for her. It symbolizes your desire for her and the desire to provide for her needs and wants.

Likewise, if you’re delayed for some reason and your date gets to the door first, opening it for you, do not take it as a slight to your manhood (opening the door yourself, after all, is not proof of your manhood). Instead, thank her with a smile and a nod (maybe even a wink), and proceed through the door. Do not grab the door and insist she enter first. She is simply trying to do the things that cause you to want to open the door for her — showing her desire for you, and her desire to provide for your wants and needs.

A man should also always open, and hold, the door for someone with full hands. Whether those hands be full with a parcel or wriggling children, hold the door no matter if the person is entering or exiting the establishment. Do this to avoid the awkward waiting while the hands-full person does that turn-around and open-door-with-butt move.

Anecdote
I was entering my office building about a week ago, and our 17-year-old intern was right in front of me. We have a glass door, and it was plain to see one of our co-workers walking to the door from the inside. She had her hands full with a few binders, her purse and one of those travel coffee mugs. Our intern opened the door for himself and allowed it to slam shut in the woman’s face. Luckily for her, I was but a step-and-a-half behind and was able to open and hold the door for her. After she both thanked me and gave our intern a confused look, I caught up to our intern and gave him a quick lesson in door etiquette. Don’t be like that intern.

Notes
- Opening and holding the door for strangers is a kind courtesy. Restaurants and office complexes will provide you with ample opportunities. It is not necessary, however, to always allow a stranger to enter before you. In certain cases, it is OK for you to open the door, half-enter and hold it open for the person behind you. Such examples for this maneuver include the door to a bank, where allowing a stranger to enter while you hold open the door will likely equal to your giving up your spot in line to this person. This is over-the-top kindness, and not necessary.

- When on a date, and entering an establishment where there are two doors (like many restaurants … to keep out flies), open the first door for your date and, going through the first door beside her, you should be able to get to the second door to also open it for her. It is not necessary to make a scene passing your date just to get to the second door. If you don’t make it, and she opens that door first, no big deal. Often, however, you’ll find that she’ll lag behind just enough to allow you to get to the handle first. If she does that, and accepts the open door with a warm smile, she’s a keeper.

The Man Rulebook photo by alpoma / http://www.flickr.com/photos/alpoma/ / CC BY-NC 2.0

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John Swartz

The site’s editor in chief. A career journalist, he graduated from East Carolina University with a degree in communication with a focus in media studies; other areas of education include English and philosophy. Born and raised in the southeastern United States, his career has taken him as far as northern California. With interests that range from a night in a suite in French Quarter New Orleans to pitching a tent in a remote corner of the Sierra Nevada, spending an evening watching an MMA Pay-Per-View or a Saturday morning soaking in a trifecta of English Premier League matches, Swartz strives to offer a variety of content.
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