From an ancient tome passed down for generations, these rules for men to live by are ageless. Here is an excerpt:
Rule 33: Hold at least a functional sporting knowledge – It is a statement of fact that sports are a rather large part of our culture. When meeting an important client or a new business contact, it’s fair to say you’re far more likely to get pulled into sporting small talk than M. Night’s latest film bust, Kiss’ next farewell tour or the upcoming vote in Congress. Surely, your business deal will not hinge on your ability to small-talk sports, but it can only help to break the ice should your meeting mate head in that direction. Whether you have little or no interest — or even a disdain — be able to hang on for five or 10 minutes. Be able to know who the best players/teams are in the American big-three sports — baseball, basketball and football. Be able to name at least one hockey team. Extra credit if you get pulled into a soccer conversation and have something to contribute … at least know when the next World Cup is. When happening across a group who is watching a “big game,” be able to take one glance at the screen and identify the following — the sport, the teams involved, who it winning and at what stage in the game it is. All of that information can usually be found using the on-screen scoreboard.
- With the on-TV scoreboard, American sports’ home teams are listed on the right; in Europe and almost everywhere else in the world, home teams are listed on the left.
- Youth and high school basketball is played in four quarters. College basketball is played in two halves. Professional basketball goes back to four quarters. International basketball, like that played at the Olympics, is played in two halves. Don’t ask why.
- Hockey has three periods.
- Football, four quarters.
- Soccer, two halves. (Soccer is, by the way, called football almost everywhere outside the United States)
- Baseball is played with nine innings, with the home team batting second.