Don't let stress handle you
Yesterday’s post talked about a few ways stress can build up in a man. Today, we’ll get into ways I deal with stress … and ways I think just might work for you too.
These might not be the typical dealing-with-stress techniques, but then again, you don’t visit The Man F.A.Q. for the typical, do you? These 10 techniques basically fall into two categories — how to deal with immediate stress and how to deal with long-term stress. To clarify, immediate stress might come on from a massive computer crash right when you’re about to wrap up that big project at work. You’ve lost all your work, and you’ve got to recreate it on the fly. The long-term stress might come on just from holding your stock portfolio in one hand and your kid’s college acceptance letters in the other. To cope with the two different types of stress, I’ve come up with my own two systems — one that I’ll go into today and the other we’ll take a look at tomorrow — consisting of “right now” and “do it later” techniques. There are five each, and I’ll start with immediate stress. In no particular order:
RIGHT NOW
1. GROWL, HOWL, SCREAM, WHATEVER: We’re men, and we’re a little more animal than the rest. To be honest, it’s something women have likely outgrown and boys just haven’t learned yet. When immediate stress builds up, you’ve got to let it out. If you don’t, it will come out one way or the other … often resulting in a broken keyboard or hole in the wall. I had a friend once who went through computer mice by the dozens per year. He was somewhat of a quiet fella, and a visceral scream every now and then might have saved him $20 every few months. There are of course correct ways to carry out this tactic, and ways that will get you labeled as the loose-screw in the office. Unless you have your own corner office where a door can be closed, it’s probably not best to let loose at work. Take a newsroom, for example, a short burst of a curse word will fly, but anything more than that and you’re just going to distract your coworkers. Excuse yourself. Head to the fire escape, the stairwell or head out the back door where the last three smokers in the company go to have a drag. Wherever it may be, once you get there, you’ve got to also do it right. You’ve got to get this one on the first try, as you only have one chance to correctly let out the immediate pressure that’s building up. Curse words flying in a squeaky, high-pitch voice will not do here. In fact, it may be worth it to avoid words altogether. Just open up, and let it out … all at once. It’s also just as important to make it quick. Remember, what brought on this stress is immediate. And you’ve got to deal with it right away. You’ve still got to come through. Sure, the stress may have built up and caused you to have an outburst, but it can’t be used as an excuse to let the people around you down.
2. HIT SOMETHING, HAVE A WORKOUT: Sometimes when dealing with immediate stress you might have a little more time to deal with it. You can take the same feeling as the above outburst and perhaps get a little more out of it. Now, when I say hit something … I’m only meaning to hit something that’s meant to be hit. One of the best things I’ve picked up along my days set me back $100, but has more than paid for itself with its therapeutic value. A 100-pound Everlast heavy bag hangs in the corner of my upstairs man room. With the gloves and handwraps, I’ve found that taking out my frustrations on the bag is a perfect alternative to some sort of public outburst. When things build up, I just find my way upstairs, put the black cloth wraps around my knuckles, hands and wrists and pull on the red leather gloves. Give it 30 minutes or so, and I’ve burned a few calories and I emerge ready to tackle any task. But perhaps a heavy bag isn’t your thing. If that’s the case, there are weight rooms and treadmills in almost every community these days. Take a quick trip to the gym. Trust me, your problems will still be there — and likely won’t get any worse — when you get back. No gym? Strap on your running shoes and just head out the front door. Run as far as you can in one direction, then on your way back you’ll actually have a clear mind to think about your next steps to tackle your problem. By the time you make it back to your home, you’ll be tired, sure, but more focused, more calm, and ready you do what needs to get done to solve your problems.
3. HIT THE ROAD, HIT THE GAS: Not the type to head to a gym? Sure, to each his own. But you can get almost the same feeling from a good, decent drive. I’m not talking about an errand to the corner store — although sometimes just running an errand to get away from your stressful situation can be quite beneficial. Instead, take your car out on the nearest wide open road, and be sure to push the speed limit. Now, I’m not advocating anything dangerous here, but surely we can agree that heading into a 55-mph zone and taking a few country curves at 60 isn’t exactly putting your life on the line. If you time it just right, I’ve found that early evening, even sunset, is the best time to take such a drive. Hit the highway, and by the time you get back, the sun’s gone down and the temperature has gone down too, and you’ve had a good cool-down as well. It’s gone from day to night, and perhaps that will give you just a different frame of mind enough to tackle any task with a different mindset.
4. CREATE SOMETHING, BUILD SOMETHING, FIX SOMETHING: Maybe you’re the kind of man who’s a little handy to have around. There’s actually something quite therapeutic about stepping away from a situation that’s got the best of you and getting on with something you know you can knock out. You’ve left a situation where failure could be a possibility and gotten into a spot where you know you’ll leave the victor. Forget the tax return and go ahead and fix the towel rack your wife’s been getting on about for weeks. Has the kitchen table always been a little wobbly? Take the leg that’s too long, and plane it down. Are you one who’s actually got his own workshop? Grab a saw, a hammer and some nails and build your mother that birdhouse that’ll just complete her garden perfectly. Now that you’ve finished a task you likely dominated, you can head back into the storm with a clear head and a higher confidence level.
5. GO AHEAD, HAVE A DRINK: Listen here, mate. Don’t get drunk. Sure, getting a few on can make you forget your problems, but just for a night. And surely it never solves them. That being said, we’re adults. Having a good drink, a really good drink — something you enjoy — will make you slow down (to enjoy it). I can’t chug a Pliny the Elder (quite possibly the most perfect IPA brewed at a little spot called Russian River in Northern CA). To chug a drink like that is quite frankly disrespectful to the craftsman who created such a wonderful brew. Take one drink, something that will truly cause you to slow down if only to actually enjoy it the way the drink deserves. Over that four or five minutes (perhaps even 10 or 20), you’ll get used to the slower pace, and that might just be what it takes to fiddle out of your riddle in the first place. Sure, alcohol shouldn’t be the answer to all of your problems, but there’s no rule saying you can’t toss in a little enjoyment into an otherwise stressful day.
Come back tomorrow to see the “do it later” stress smashing techniques.
Related content:
