There’s overpaid and then there’s REALLY overpaid.

To say that England football boss Fabio Capello is stealing money from the folks who pay his nearly £10 million per year salary is like saying early European settlers kind of dicked over Native Americans.

Capello, whose Three Lions once again disappointed English fans the world over with another lackluster World Cup performance, makes £5.8 millon more annually than the second-highest paid national team manager, Italy’s Marcello Lippi.

And yes, I’m ashamed to use the Lippi and Capello surnames in the same sentence considering Italy is — at the time of this writing — the defending World Cup champion with Lippi leading the way.

If England had gone down fighting or if the gaffer had tried injecting new blood into a lineup many thought was already getting stale four years ago, Capello’s salary might not be such a big deal.

But his pay is just shocking. Has he been signed to some kind of lifetime contract we don’t know about? Will he be taping Aaron Lennon’s ankles in 2014 as a form of retribution for leaving Lennon to rot on the bench during this World Cup? Will he serve as Wayne Rooney’s water boy and launder Peter Crouch’s sweaty kit in four years (if Crouch gets on the pitch that is, which he didn’t in 2010)?

This much I know: If Capello does return to England’s team, it shouldn’t be as a manager. His missteps as Three Lions boss — either real or perceived — are too many to mention in this space, but suffice it to say that he didn’t seem to do anything more than a man on the street with even a cursory knowledge of England’s team could’ve done.

He used mostly the same players in essentially the same formation the English team has been using for years and got the same result — an early exit from another World Cup. No fresh approach, no new ideas and honestly, no testicular fortitude.

I suppose those who follow England, like me, should have seen it coming, but I guess the millions of pounds Capello makes blinded us.

NOTE: Financial figures taken from just-football.com

Pictures from my roadtrip:

Dan Nied is a guest columnist for The Man F.A.Q., and you may find more work on his Web site at http://whatdanniedthinks.blogspot.com/

Flickr photo / Barry Yanowitz (credit below)

First of all, no I don’t think the latest Nickelback album is awesome. And why are you still singing the praises of Fred Durst? That guy hasn’t been relevant in years and hasn’t been good in, well, forever.

You say you like to rock, but you haven’t offered any empirical evidence to suggest you know the first thing about rocking. Yes, you like Weezer, but Weezer, while still great, hasn’t really rocked for a few albums now. Sad thing is, you just have no clue what you’re doing.

Because if you did, idiot, you’d be listening to the Hold Steady, or as I like to call them, the greatest Rock ‘n’ Roll band operating today.

Consider the Hold Steady a rocking starter kit. Pick up the new album “Heaven is Whenever” and you’ll know immediately that you like the hard-driving deluge of Tad Kubler’s guitar, and Craig Finn’s gritty vocals that suggest he’s been around the block a few times.

But then you’ll pick up on some of Finn’s lyrics and realize that this is the modern-day incarnation of Springsteen, Tom Waits and every other blue-collar, hard-scrabble musician inspired by hopeless stories.

If the “Weekenders” line “She said the theme of this party’s the Industrial Age… And you came in dressed like a train wreck” doesn’t instantly tell you a story, then maybe Nickelback really is for you.

And then you’ll check out a picture of the band and realize that, like Weezer, these are some hard-rocking dorks that just love making and performing music. Go ahead and check out this clip and you’ll see Finn experiencing more joy on stage than anyone in their mid-30s has a right to.

There is no glamor or pomp to this band. Their job, simply, is to rock, and they do it to perfection.

And that’s why you need to ditch your radio-inspired “rock” and get in touch with a truly organic brand of musical love known as The Hold Steady.

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Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomvu/ / CC BY-NC 2.0

John M. Swartz

Your questions, my answers. This F.A.Q. has home improvement and a first date.

QUESTION: I’ve got two rooms that I want to put ceiling fans in. One of the rooms has a light fixture in it already, but the other one is a storage room that I’m turning into an office doesn’t have a light fixture. I’m pretty good with do-it-yourself directions like putting my kids swingset together, but I’m not too sure about running wiring. Should I just bite the bullet and pay an electrician to put the fans up?

ANSWER: In the room with the light fixture, I’m pretty sure you can handle that one yourself. If you’re not confident in the running of your own wires in the other room, I wouldn’t tackle it. Here’s what you could do. Go ahead and get the electrician to install the fan in the room without the pre-existing wiring. When the electrician’s got the wiring in place, and it’s time to install the actual fan, watch the action. Ask a few questions even. Then, get out the how-to and tackle the project yourself in the other room. If you get it right, then you’ll have a pat-on-the-back moment over it with a cold beer. If you screw it up, then you’ll know you never could have done the more complicated job in the other room anyway. One final option: Figure out which of your buddies has the most electrical experience, and bribe him with a few beers and a pizza to help you out. Then, if you bottle the project and end up calling the electrician anyway it’s no big loss.

QUESTION: My girlfriend just broke up with me. How long do I have to wait before going out with someone else?

ANSWER: How’s this weekend? You two just broke up, right? You’re not in mourning. She dumped you. If you’re waiting to date someone else to see if she’ll take you back, don’t bother. If anything, you going out on your next date will make her want you back even more. There’s an old saying, there’s nothing better for getting over your last girl than your next. Bottom line, the mere fact that you’re asking about dating someone else shows that you were probably ready to move on before your last relationship even ended. Either way, it doesn’t seem like you’re too broken up about it. … Or are you?

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Do you have a question? Submit it here.

Dan Nied is a guest columnist for The Man F.A.Q., and you may find more work on his Web site at http://whatdanniedthinks.blogspot.com/

Alexander Ovechkin (photo by / Ivan Makarov)

How many NFL mock drafts did you check today? 3? 5? 10? Uhuh. And how excited were you about baseball season starting last week? Jacked level around 87 out of 100, right? And your man crush for Kobe knows no bounds, but you think LeBron might be the better player? And that Tiger Woods…? Ok, shut your mouth.

All that stuff above is pretty cool, I have to admit. Personally, I checked two mock drafts today, and I am more of a LeBron fan than a Kobe fan, and I was wearing my Detroit Tigers jersey for opening day (while I was in California, at that). So I understand where you’re coming from. But that doesn’t make you any less of an idiot. Why? Because you don’t care about the one sports happening that actually matters right now.

So … Hey, idiot: Why are you ignoring the NHL playoffs?

Yep, they started Tuesday night, and there are some pretty awesome subplots that even a hockey ignoramus — which you probably are — can sink his teeth into.

In the East, you’ve got the still-developing but already-fabled battle between the defending champion Penguins and the top-seeded Capitals (if you don’t know where these teams are from, you should probably quit reading). Of course, this budding rivalry features the only two current NHL players you’ve probably ever heard of in Sidney Crosby, who it’s OK to hate if you’re American (again, if you don’t know why, stop reading), and Alexander Ovechkin, who rocks the best unibrow in sports.

The Pens and Caps are seemingly destined to clash down the line, perhaps in the second round, but the best bet is the conference finals.

In the West, the Goliath Red Wings sneaked into the playoffs as the fifth seed after a tumultuous first-half of the season. The top-seeded Sharks are searching for postseason respect after a half-decade of playoff flops. The resurgent Blackhawks, the 2-seed, might just be the favorites to make the finals and, eventually, bow to Crosby or Ovechkin.

And yeah, that sounds like a prediction, and since you aren’t that smart I’ll let you believe, for a second, that it is.

But the beauty of the NHL playoffs is that you can’t take anything for granted. Unlike the NBA, it wouldn’t be shocking if an 8-seed topples a 1-seed. The NHL’s regular season means less than your promise to teach yourself Spanish one of these days. It’s a sport that requires a full team effort, yet can still be taken over by one flaming-hot goalie.

This is a two-month, four-round spectacle that rivals any postseason in sports, including the NCAA tournament. Trust me, if you start watching, you’ll see at least one triple overtime game (and these are 20-minute OTs, not five. Oh, and they’re sudden death!) that will force you to remind yourself to breathe. Even if you don’t have a dog in the fight, you can appreciate the roughshod poetry that is playoff hockey.

So yes, go read a few more mock drafts and rank Tiger’s girls 1-18. But, for the next two months, keep an eye on the NHL playoffs. It’s going to be the best sports decision you’ve ever made.

Dan Nied is a guest columnist for The Man F.A.Q., and you may find more work on his Web site at http://whatdanniedthinks.blogspot.com/

Tiger Woods

All won’t be forgotten when Tiger Woods tees off at the Masters on Thursday in his first tournament since his world exploded.

His moral crimes won’t be put into any proper perspective, and the fast food media will pick apart his every move.

But, finally, Tiger will begin the endgame of what has turned into an outright, and undeserved, media frenzy over his private life.

Yep, sex sells, especially when that sex is being had by someone who is the best at what he does. So it’s a little hard to indict a gossip-driven media monster for its infatuation with Tiger’s extramarital activities.

Yet, we’re talking about a rich, famous athlete who cheated on his wife. Nothing more than that. Michael Jordan paid off his mistress. Muhammad Ali was a notorious womanizer. Even Martin Luther King has been the subject of these types of rumors. Yet no public figure, save Bill Clinton, has endured the kind of scrutiny Tiger has seen over the last four months.

The reasons why are fairly obvious. Tiger’s transgressions occurred in the Internet age, where, when it comes to news, size and speed have replaced integrity and worth. Add in the fact that Tiger was caught while he was at the apex of his sport (Jordan and Ali were caught after their careers, King after his death), and it’s easy to see why Tiger’s harem is perceived as the biggest story on Earth.

Yet here he is at Augusta National, where he burst into superstardom with his 1997 Masters win.

Thirteen years later, Tiger must perform a similar feat, somehow shifting the focus of this conversation from women to golf.

But even if Tiger wins the Masters, the topics will simply merge into one. He’ll no longer be Tiger Woods: Golfer or Tiger Woods: Adulterer. If he wins, he’ll be Tiger Woods: The guy who won golf’s biggest tournament while facing the shame of adultery.

And while a win under this unique pressure will certainly cement Tiger’s status as the Greatest Athlete of Our Time, it will also fan the flames of the perception that Tiger just isn’t human.

Maybe we need to see Tiger break down to verify our own human theories. If he misses the cut, perhaps we will understand him better knowing that no man — not even Tiger — can stand up to this level of chaos.

But maybe, if we believe his mistakes have already humanized him, that he did what so many men would do in the same situation, we need to see him win. Because if we already believe Tiger is a normal, flawed man, then he can tell us something about resolve. If we somehow view Tiger through the prism of a victim, then a Masters win will give us faith in man’s strength in the face of adversity.

And yet, to see Tiger through this lens would take an awful lot of effort. He devalued his marriage and family, and failed to live up to the higher standard that served as the price for his fame.

But if we want to see this as something more than the average celebrity adultery case, then we must choose sides. You either want Tiger to fail, or you want him to succeed. There’s no sitting this one out.

Tiger has already succeeded, however, in taking this story to his home turf — the golf course. It is only through his chosen sport that he can ever earn the public’s forgiveness.

Eventually, we’ll need to see Tiger dominate the way he once did: hitting mind-bending bunker shots, impossible putts and monster drives. If he can convince us once again that his value to us is as a special athlete instead of a public figure, we’ll forgive and forget soon enough.

Jason Heward, Braves OF

Seeing something unexpected. That’s a top reason why sports fans have outbursts. It’s probably the most common. Other reasons include your team winning a championship … but how often does that happen for most of us?

It was definitely the unexpected that caused my outburst on Monday. In fact, it was the first such outburst I’ve had during a baseball game in a long time.

The cause? An Atlanta Braves rookie outfielder.

Jason Heyward has, after all, come with the appropriate amount of hype for a high-hopes rookie of his caliber. There’s already been talk of his winning the NL Rookie of the Year, and even the league MVP within the next five years.

But when Heyward hit a three-run home run on the first swing of his major league career against the Chicago Cubs, my responses of “Get out!” and “Oh, damn!” were, I think, quite justified.

Heyward’s monster hit gave the Braves a 6-3 lead — after Atlanta had already erased a 3-0 Cubs’ lead in the first inning — and provided the head start to a 16-5 win.

The 20-year-old MLB rookie from the Atlanta area had throngs of fans in attendance, and his parents were on hand to witness the start of his big-swinging career.

Atlanta fans are understandably in an uproar about their newest soon-to-be superstar. One fan wrote on the ajc.com live blog:

“Take pride in your accomplishment, Mr. Zambrano. You are the first of many victims of young Mr. Heyward’s mighty bat. Many more pitches will die upon its smooth, wooden surface, the smell of burning wood sizzling through the air as twine and horsehide are turned into souvenirs.”

Braves fans don’t need to think twice about jumping on this young fellow’s bandwagon. And neither do I, a transplant baseball fan from the South now living in California.

Yeah, I dug out my old Braves hat today as Heyward gave me a truly happy sports moment. It was worth the trip to the attic. This kid’s gonna be special.

John M. Swartz

Your questions, my answers. This F.A.Q. has work and play.

QUESTION: My supervisor at work is planing to leave the company. I’d like to be considered for his job, but I don’t want to step on his toes before he’s out the door. What’s the protocol here?

ANSWER: Firstly, I’d like to know just how you know your supervisor is leaving. I can make two guesses. Either he has told you, or you’ve found out “on the sly.” It matters, because one way you’d be able to talk to your supervisor about it. The other way, you’d better be quiet about it until it goes down. I’ll give you an answer for each situation.

If your supervisor has told you, it’s a more clear-cut solution. Simply talk with your supervisor about your desire for his job. He shouldn’t feel threatened. He’s on the way out the door, right? In having this quite candid conversation, you may even be able elicit his help. He can tell you how he got his job. He might even recommend you for the position. A lot can come from this quick and simple talk. But be careful of the timing, don’t put him on the spot. Make sure he has time to answer your questions without interruption. The 15-second elevator ride probably isn’t a good setting, and neither is the stairwell (where anyone could hear without your knowing). One of the best times is in the parking lot, outside of the building, either before or after your shift.

Now, if you’ve heard about his leaving through rumor, or some less scrupulous manner, you will have to hold your cards close. If your supervisor hasn’t told anyone of his plans to leave to company, then there’s always a chance he could change his mind. If you spill the beans, and he decides not to leave, it could make for a hostile work environment. The best thing for you to do is to get your resume packet ready. Get all your ducks in a row, so to speak, so that when your boss makes his move you’re ready to strike. As soon as his two-weeks is announced, go to your hiring manager or his supervisor (whomever it may be in your office) and make known your desire for advancement. Alas, in this situation, a wait-and-see approach is about all there is to do.

QUESTION: I have a couple of friends that I only know through our pick-up basketball games at the gym. We get together twice a week, but we always play basketball and we always play inside. I’d like get outside once the weather gets better. Should I try to get them all to switch games, or should I just try to find a different group who are spending more time outside?

ANSWER: Why do you have to do one or the other? Try both. At your next basketball game, suggest to the guys a different game for next week. Most men are up for almost anything sports-related. I’d bet you’d be surprised how willing they are to play a different game. And if that doesn’t work, you still have to option to find a new group of sports buddies. You said you only knew the one group through basketball, right? So no hurt feelings if you head outside. If you find a new group, you can play hoops one time and get outside the next. You’ll simply be giving yourself more options.

QUESTION: I have a coworker who is into me. I just know it. My office doesn’t really have a really strict no-date policy, but it’s still an office and I need to be sure before I make a move. How can I be sure?

ANSWER: Simple, read this.

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Do you have a question? Submit it here.

Fair use image / HBO, Time Warner

It’s been a while since I saw you. And maybe it isn’t my place to say this, but someone has to, so it might as well be me.

You’ve really let yourself go.

I know, I know. It’s been a rough couple of months. But I don’t remember you ever looking so grotesque.

So here’s my question, idiot: Why aren’t you working out every day?

Is your life really so busy that you can’t spare even a half hour a day in the gym? What about taking a walk? Are you all of a sudden too good for outside? I know, you would rather be stuffing your face with double cheeseburgers than doing some cardio, but its time to turn this thing around.

Look, I’m not trying to tell you what to do. But if you stay on this pace, you’ll end up being airlifted out of your house via helicopter. Besides the sheer embarrassment, just think about how much it will cost to replace the roof. And forget about doing it yourself, you’ll be way to fat for that.

Consider this tough love. I just want you to get back to your old average looking self. No, I’ve never found you attractive, but now I can’t imagine anyone finding you attractive.

So get into the gym, buddy. Start with cardio. Treadmills are great. Elliptical machines will take the stress off your knees (which will obviously benefit a man of your heft). Go every day. Make it a habit. You can do a half hour of cardio, eat healthy and cut your weight considerably. It only makes sense. Considering you are single and not particularly stylish, all you have is the hope that some girl with low self esteem will try to turn you into a man. And, let’s face it, even that seems pretty unlikely right now.

So get on the elliptical and work your way up to weights. This push is just what you need.

I’m telling you that you can cut 30 pounds in three months, easily. And even if you fall short, you’re still down 15 or 20 pounds. Why wouldn’t you want that? It just takes a little bit of hard work, which builds character, which makes you more attractive to women and potential employers.

I agree, it is more fun to sit on your butt and do nothing. Indeed, that is my favorite thing to do, too. But in the end, life takes a little bit of work. So get to it, and try not to have a heart attack before you get to the gym.

Top: How I look now. Not bad, a bit of a belly and some softness around the face. Bottom: That's me, tip-top shape just a few years ago.

AS IF living a long and happy life with my wife wasn’t reason enough to stay healthy, now there’s another reason – my baby daughter is due to arrive in early July.

Even when I had a standing reservation for nightly buffalo wings and by-the-gallon beer, I knew that one day I’d be a father. I thought maybe buffalo wings and baby bottles would be a little farther removed, but once my wife-to-be and I started talking about it, we were planning for a right-away pregnancy after our wedding.

Who knew it would be on the first try!

Now, James Allorski and I have something of a get-in-shape contest going on, and now I’m the one with extra motivation. Why wouldn’t I want to be in best shape of my life the day I become a dad? I know what you’re thinking: “You’re going to lose weight while your wife is pregnant?” Well, first off, there’s no rule that says dads-to-be have to gain weight with their wives. It just seems to happen that way. Secondly, my wife is now four months out from delivery, and still in pretty damn good shape. In fact, she just begged me to take her on a kayak trip. Don’t think we’ll get to it, but she still wants to go.

Technically, I’ve lost two pounds since I found out the little one is on the way. But, I’m also far from “the best shape of my life.” Now, I’m not too far off (pictures to the right, top). I mean, I was in phenomenal shape in high school … but who wasn’t, right? That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m not too far off my best as an adult. That was about four years ago (pictures on the right, bottom), I guess. That’s about what I’m going for, with maybe a little less with the weights and a little more on the overall fitness. Thinking about it, I don’t need to be able to bench press 350 pounds to play with my daughter, but it might help to have the cardio to chase her around for hours and hours and hours.

So, with a due date in July’s first week, my goal is to hit that shape by July 1. At that time, I’ll also get a physical and complete workup to make sure I’m fit to be a dad and husband for a long, long, long time.