WITH THE HOLIDAY season already hitting its top speed, I feel like now is as good a time as any to share with you, dear reader, my football wish list. These are things I hope occur in the second half of the English football campaign.
Top-four Tottenham
Of course my Christmas wish list starts with a longstanding desire for my beloved Tottenham Hotspur to secure one of the top four spots in the English Premier League table by season’s end. Spurs haven’t helped themselves the last two weeks, settling for a 2-2 draw at Everton despite taking a 2-0 lead and having Jermain Defoe in place to win the game late with a penalty kick.
It got even worse last weekend when lowly Wolves came to White Hart Lane, scored in the game’s third minute and made Kevin Doyle’s strike stand up in a hugely disappointing 1-0 result that leaves Tottenham with 27 points this season. That’s good enough for fifth for the time being, but Spurs are already four points behind fourth-place Arsenal and will need to get back on track quickly if they’re entertaining thoughts of Champions League football next season.
Shut it, Sir
I don’t hate Manchester United the way I hate Chelsea or Arsenal, but Red Devils boss Sir Alex Ferguson does top my most-despised managers list.
While there’s no denying Ferguson’s ability to win and bring in the best players on a yearly basis, there’s also little doubting the fact that the man is often a world-class cunt on the sidelines and at press conferences.
From calling out an official for not being in good enough shape to referee a game (which was completely off base and untrue) to his constant bitching and moaning during matches, Ferguson takes the attention away from his players, who are very good, fun to watch and way less cunty than their boss. At least in most cases. Paul Scholes and Dimitar Berbatov are both tools.
My wish for Ferguson is the gift of silence this Christmas. I doubt old Whiskey Face will use it, but the holidays are all about dreaming big, right?
Tip-top Toffees
This wish goes back two seasons.
For the second consecutive year, Everton’s squad has been absolutely gutted by injuries. No other team in the Premier League has had as many key players miss time with injury as the Toffees who, despite their physical setbacks, have shown their true grit by gaining valuable points with draws against Spurs and league-leading Chelsea the last two weeks.
I’ve written of my admiration for Everton manager David Moyes in this column space before, but it bears repeating: Few EPL bosses could have made lemonade out of lemons the way Moyes has the last two seasons.
While the Toffees’ climb out of the relegation zone isn’t quite complete, Moyes has already proven that he’ll get everything he can out of his squad, even if it isn’t filled with first-teamers.
Here’s hoping Santa Claus delivers the manager a healthier group of players during the second half of the season. Lord knows Moyes could benefit from getting some shiny new toys under the Christmas tree instead of the lumps of coal to which he’s grown all too accustomed.
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