I DON’T REMEMBER exactly what I was doing, but when I heard, “Babe, why is there a bag of chips in the microwave?” I knew I had some ’splainin to do.
“I’ll tell you in a minute,” I yelled down, planning how to delicately put the fact that we just don’t have enough space in our current two-bedroom town house — especially in the kitchen.
You see, our place was originally part of a military base. Specifically, our unit was designed for officers’ quarters. I know there was a chance there were some families living in these units, but mostly they were single men probably not known for their cooking prowess.
The day before, I had just gone to the grocery store to re-stock. As I’ve mentioned numerous times before, my wife and I are on completely opposite work schedules. Because of that, we generally cook our meals separately. When it comes to the grocery story, she’s usually got a list and I have my own. There are usually more veggies and salad on her list, and mine is usually stronger in the meat and bread department.
So, I had gone to the store with two pretty massive lists in hand (it had been a while since we bought any groceries). I carried in the many, many, many bags of food, and began the tetris-like putting away of the groceries.
Honestly, I had found a somewhat sensible place for everything save … one … bag … of chips.
That night, I had opened the bag — Tostitos Hint O’ Lime — and had a few with some salsa. I didn’t want to leave the bag loose on the counter. There was no more room in the cupboard. We don’t have a pantry, and the microwave was just sitting there … empty.
It had been a while since my wife had asked for any microwave meals. She’s been trying to eat more fresh foods. I figured the microwave was as good a place as any for an opened bag of chips. It’s airtight, no bugs can get it, and they’d be good and out of the way.
But, the next day, my wife needed the microwave. When the inevitable WTF came, my eventual reply was … we don’t have any room for them anywhere else.
Oh, and we’ve also got two dogs — more on them later. We need a house. I’m working on it.
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