inherwords@themanfaq.com

YOU’VE GOT QUESTIONS. Don’t we all? Women are wacky. If you think your head is spinning, imagine how we feel when we feel what we feel and we don’t know why we feel it. It’s OK if you had to read that twice. We’ll wait. Mercifully, at least this woman is willing to tackle the tough questions to help a guy out. Helping guys helps us gals too, after all.

Here are this week’s questions, pulled from the mailbag:

QUESTION: Big time problem here. I have very specific plans to propose to my girlfriend early this December. It’s when we met two years ago. I’ve had the ring for a long time. One of her friends told me she found where I’d hidden the ring, and now she thinks I’m going to propose any day now. What do I do? Should I wait until December like I’d planned, or change course?

ANSWER: Hmm. This is an interesting quandary. It being near the end of October now, Christmas is damn-near upon us. I know, guys, I know. We women stress about the calendar’s sudden erratic behavior, too. Any chance the Mayan apocalypse is upon us before Dec. 25? No? Shit. But I digress.

I think this depends on how important the proposal is to you. Did you spend months on your plan? Will it be executed at a super-special location that will be revisited time and again over the years? Is it impossible for you to imagine doing this any other way? All good questions to ask yourself before you consider easing her burden.

Once that soul search is over, you might want to weigh the impact of your GF’s agony. Is she a nervous wreck as a personality? (And no, men, not all women are, geez, c’mon already! Have you guys looked in the mirror lately? Glass houses, stones … just sayin’).

In all, if you think you can handle this, stick with your scheme. You made it, crafted it lovingly, pictured it, been fired up about it. It’s your baby. Birth that plan! And let’s not forget that she is a Snoopy McSnooperton. I suspect she’d rather not get caught. So stay true to your perfect plan, man. All will be forgiven, on both sides I’m sure, when everyone laughs about it later.

QUESTION: My girlfriend and I are getting matching tattoos. I’m thinking something without names. You know, in case. Any ideas?

ANSWER: Oh, boy. Let’s you and I just keep that last part between us, yeah? It’s the “in case” part here, in case you were unsure. Stop. Right. Here. Are you sure you want a matching tattoo with Ms. In Case? Still interested? How about a lion? I am thinking the one from the Wizard of Oz would be perfect for you.

QUESTION: There’s a woman at work I want to ask out. I’m pretty darn sure she wants me to ask her out. But we have a no-dating policy at work. Neither of us are going to have these jobs forever. Should we wait, or should we give a big F-U to company policy and go for it anyway.

ANSWER: This one is tricky on many levels. Love conquers all, right? That has always been my motto, but my motto has definitely tripped me up. Especially in this economy, it can be very difficult to get a new job right away. I am definitely going to give you my follow-your-heart thumbs up on this one, hopeless romantic that I am, but with a word of caution. Try to picture everything going up in flames. Got it? OK, now picture being stuck at work with that person for years after the implosion. Because that could actually happen.

QUESTION: My wife and I had a bet on the ALCS (she hates my Tigers. Grew up a Twins fan). Now she won’t “pay up.” She was supposed to wear a full Tigers uniform to work, but she wants to go double or nothing in the World Series. OK, fine. But what BIG idea can I come up with when the Tigers win it all? And will she even do it?

ANSWER: How about a Giants uniform? You know, for when they win the World Series? Sorry, dude, you just asked the wrong San Franciscan that question.

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(Photo credit: Luis Sarabia, Flickr via Creative Commons CC BY-NC 2.0)