It’s seems like the only prerequisite to losing something is owning something. We’ve all lost a thing or two in our lives, and there’s nothing that so helpless a feeling than knowing you can’t find (BLANK) and it’s nobody’s fault but your own. Here’s our list of five things men lose that, when they do, it drives them absolutely insane.

REPLACEABLE
Our first three items go in the category of things you can easily replace. It’s a pain to, but possible.

5. The cord to … : Most things just get plugged in, and they stay that way. But these days, there are so many of our favorite electronics (iPods, laptops, portable GPS, etc.) that don’t need a cord all the time. I use my iPod cord probably once a week, if that — whenever I add new songs or it’s in desperate need of a charge. When I’m not using it, I usually put it in the same place. But every now and then, for some reason, it goes somewhere else. I might use it at the office to charge the iPod for an after-work workout. Then, the cord will get tossed in any number of work bags, gym bags, the back seat of the car, or who knows where. The next time I go to look for it, there’s that now-where-did-that-damn-cord-go moment that follows. Quite irritating.

4. Remote: Let’s face it, we love that our TVs now come with a device that allows you to change the channels without getting up. There’s a chance that when the remote goes missing, it’s not our fault. There’s the pulling up of the couch cushions, the lifting of the recliner, the inevitable shout of “Honey, have you seen the remote?” It’s very rare that the remote is any further than the 8-square-feet landing area for tube watching. So it’s usually easy to find. But the one time a kid or a dog runs off with it — or the random time you put it in the freezer — and it gets really lost, you’re in quite a pickle. It hasn’t happened yet in my adult life, but I do remember about three or four different universal remotes at my house growing up. That darn thing just kept disappearing. Wasn’t me.

3. Keys: It’s inevitable. No matter how routine your enter-the-house-from-work steps are, no matter how many times in your life you’ve dropped your keys in the same bowl on the table right next to the front door, they’ll end up going missing. And it’ll be right before a big meeting, when your wife’s water breaks or 10 minutes until closing time at that great pizza shop that has 2-for-1 carry-out specials. The best bet is to have a set spot for your spare keys. But what happens when those go missing?

NOT-SO-REPLACEABLE
Our last two items are things that are quite often irreplaceable. If you lose one of these, you might as well keep looking until your entire world is upside-down.

2. Mobile phone: Sure, it’s easy to buy a new phone. With the insurance, often it gets replaced almost free of charge. But what about the numbers in there. Quick, what’s your sister’s cell phone number? If you answered 7, then … well, that’s just the speed dial number. There are actually only two numbers that I use often that I have actually memorized — my wife’s mobile number and my boss’ desk number. (Seriously, my boss’ number? How sad is that?). Of course there are other numbers — my desk, our department’s main line, 411 and 911 — that I don’t use very often. But the majority of the numbers in my mobile phone directory, well zip. If that phone goes, I’m screwed. I’ll have to start one of those “I lost my phone, can you send me your number” mass e-mails. There are services that will allow you to back up your numbers. I suggest using one of those. I had a primitive system a while back. I had  gotten to a point in my life where I basically had my people set in, I wasn’t getting all that many new numbers … so I just wrote them all down in a notebook. Now, if I could only find that notebook.

1. Wallet: Pretty much anything in your wallet is replaceable, in a sense. But that time isn’t. Imagine, waiting in line at the DMV, waiting on hold to get your credit/debit cards taken care of, your new driver’s and health insurance cards are going to take a while too. And of course there’s all those club cards that you’ll have to sign up for again so you can save 30 cents on a gallon of milk at Safeway. The DMV visit alone is enough to make you want to chain your wallet to your pants. But what about that feeling of, “did someone steal it” as you race online to check your recent activity on any number of credit/debit accounts. After a man loses his wallet, then there’s the back-tracking of every step until the last time you actually used it. Was it at the gym? The Indian restaurant? Or did you leave it on your desk at work? To find the wallet, and avoid the hassles that come with replacing everything inside, a week-long search isn’t uncommon or uncalled for.

BONUS ITEM
Wedding ring: You’re just fooked.

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Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/saad/ / CC BY 2.0